In Rocky

Hi!
I can't believe we have been in Rockhampton almost 2 months already - time is certainly flying here. For James and I every day feels like we are sitting on a train watching life's scenes flash by. Between James' full time job, managing the kindy and looking after the children, we are so busy that our heads are spinning. But there is a satisfaction in knowing that now our time and efforts are building our own futures.

Currently James spends Monday to Friday in Brisbane or Sydney working for Fuji Xerox and then weekends with us and working at the kindy. Hopefully he will only be doing this until Christmas and then he'll be living with us in Rockhampton full time.

Jude and Ivy are settling in well. They go to the centre for 2 mornings a week - I typically drop them off at 9am and pick them up again at 1.30pm after their rest time. They are in separate rooms based on age (Jude is pre-kindy and Ivy is junior kindy) but they see each other for outdoor time and can sit together for meal breaks. Jude misses his friends from the Sandy Beach kindy in Melbourne (there are more boisterous boys in his class here whom he doesn't care for) but he'll be moving into kindergarten at the end of January so we're hoping he'll start to make friends then if not before.

Jude is energetic, restless, driven by a purpose, very empathetic, a strong communicator. He gets very nervy around unfamiliar territory and likes everything in life to be fair/just. He is very social and easy to be around most of the time.

Ivy is driven by emotion (and has far too much for any 2 year old body to handle!) so is more complex and prone to a lot of outbursts or tantrums during the day. She's creative, flighty, a giggler, wind up merchant and very unconventional in her approach. I have to manage her in a very different way to Jude - she needs more free reign and space to express herself.

Aden, now 8 months, is a curious little man. He has just entered that cling to mum stage because he has realised that the world is a big and busy place. He is most peaceful when outdoors and very physical - already pulling himself up to standing and crawls on his feet rather than knees. Hi favourite activities are crawling or rolling around on our bed or playing with technology - cables, wires, laptops, phones, speakers, etc. He's already worked out how to switch on a lamp and open the dvd player! He likes to feed himself (and me) finger food - his favourite is yoghurt.

Recently I was reading a book with Ivy and she pointed to the animals in the book that represented each of us. Jude was a colourful parrot (I'm assuming because he moves around a lot and is a colourful, social personality), James was an elephant (gentle giant), she was a baby polar bear and I was a tiger...I'd like to say it's because I have a striking look! Where Jude communicates verbally, Ivy uses facial expression and body language to express her thoughts and feelings.

Jude and Ivy are very competitive with each other and clash a lot but they are incredibly close and break the quarrels up with the most surprising moments of affection. And they are very loving towards Aden - Ivy mostly calls him 'baby' because she loves anything small and sweet and likes to think of him as her pet.

Our weeks are a mixture of routine and discovery. The heat and humidity means very few playgrounds but we have found a nice playgroup and water park nearby...and of course we live on the doorstep of the Botanical Gardens - each time we walk there we do something different - visit the zoo, go to the Japanese gardens, visit the playground, feed the ducks and turtles at the lagoon.

The afternoons are mainly spent doing crafty activities, on the scooters or getting relief with the paddling pool and sprinkler at home.

Rockhampton reminds me of Gloucester - small town, friendly people, slower paced. One of my favourite things to do is drive around the centre of the town and take in the architecture - some beautiful cathedrals and an old post office. It is lit up at night throughout the year like Cheltenham.

We are now focused on Jude's birthday - planning to celebrate the actual day at kindy with balloons and ice cream cake and various Xmas work and social events. We have a naming celebration for Aden planned at a local park in January too. Lots to do!

Nic x

Taking each day at a time

(Chaotic bath time in the early days - I manage it better now!)

Hi,

I begin on my soapbox. It makes me laugh that carers have to justify their 'time out' when choosing to return to the workforce. The number of valuable skills you learn or perfect while being a carer is significant...multi tasking (and doing each task well), people management, prioritisation, psychology, educating, mentoring, role modelling, researching, communicating, networking, selling (trying to make anything unappealing seem appealing to a 2 year old is no mean feat!), working as a team, autonomy, etc.

I recently read a blog that gave me a good tip. We all have a list of a hundred things that we need to do and it's so overwhelming that we often don't tackle it at all. Now I take 3 things from the list to achieve each day - most of the time I get all 3 done but if I don't, I feel less bad about not doing 1 or 2 things as opposed to 100. It's also easy to develop a negative mindset when you spend 98% of your time doing things for others - particularly little people where maximum effort can be rewarded with little thanks or return. Most of you are parents, you know. But I try to think a little differently....

I have three incredible little friends who in their individual little ways, demonstrate imagination and possibility...infectious qualities.

Jude has always preferred the company of others to his own, he is organised (perhaps a tad too controlling at times!) and doesn't miss a beat - he wants to know what every adult conversation is about or why I am doing things the way I am. The latest craze with him is robots...and the moral difference between right and wrong, good and bad.

Ivy is open minded. She will perform a task or play with an object in the conventional way once and then do something unique. She is dogged and attacks her day with ferocious determination and independence. She's into sticks at the moment so I'm trying to come up with different ways to play with them...drums, camp fires, painting them, making a structure...

Aden observes and learns. He watches his brother and sister and analyses. A deep thinker but a cheerful soul at the same time. I have a feeling that he will be crawling and walking early...to keep his siblings in sight.

Whenever I take all 3 for a walk to the park I invariably get the comment "Oooh you've got your hands full" - sometimes several times. I was self conscious at first but now I just feel a bit like superwoman...even when all 3 are losing it at the same time. I don't see many others braving the outside world with 3 so young together...that's got to count for something right?!

Winter is well and truly upon us so outside time can be difficult with Aden. During each weekday morning we have a planned activity - Tuesday and Thursday is playgroup, Monday is 3 hours of kindy, Wednesday a babysitter takes J and I to the park for a couple of hours and Friday we either go to an indoor play centre or the park. Afternoons are just spent at home.

In the background James is working through all the kindy application paperwork. We will hopefully hear in the next week or so as to whether we can get the loan and take on the business. Increasingly I hope we can. I think it will be good for our family life - for us to see James more, to give us a joint vision and so the controlling mother in me can be in the same place as where my children learn!

As always I'll keep you posted. Hope you enjoyed my recent video compilation of the family and thanks to all who sent me bday cards and messages!

Love Nic x

Then there were three

A midwife recently told me that when you have three children, you need to make each feel special in their own way...Jude is the social, organised one. Ivy is creative and courageous. Aden is the gentle soul. 

Now that Aden has passed the tumultuous 6 week mark, he has settled down into a happy little man. He has a gentle way, loves contact with people and very communicative - was smiling and 'talking' from just 1 week old! His relationship with Jude and Ivy is already strong - lots of kisses and cuddles between the three - it feels like he has always been here.

James managed to take a week off for the birth and Aden's first week at home - the kids have loved having him home more. And we have had Barbs and Dad here to support. Dad leaves at the end of this week...quite fitting that he leaves on Australian Mothering Sunday...time for me to stand on my own two feet!

Going from two to three is harder than one to two when they're all so young. Everything has to be planned and well thought through...who to get in the car first, who to take out last. Working around Jude's pedantic ways and Ivy's terrible two tantrums. I've learnt to accept that trying my best doesn't equate to pleasing all and that realisation ironically makes me feel more relaxed. Of course I have my tenser moments like today when Jude decided to pour Dad's shower gel all over the lounge room carpet while I was feeding Aden (leaving me to spend my only free hour of the day to clean up) - but they are thankfully few and far between.

When I am feeding Aden I watch the house fall into disarray around me and smile. Today Jude was running around in his new fireman outfit with the garden hose putting out fires while Ivy was pretending to be a robot (after watching Toy Story for the first time) - the day before Ivy was crouched down and jumping around shouting 'ribbit ribbit' and Jude was the serious doctor in his hospital office.

I am interested to see how Aden is going to get a word in...Jude and Ivy converse non-stop. "No Ivy, Yes Ivy" "Funny Jude, Naughty Jude." They fire questions and comments at me all day long and push me to a whole new level of multi tasking...I now use my mouth, feet, arms and both hands simultaneously to get through each day. However Jude and Ivy are becoming more patient, realising that there is only one of me and three of them making demands. No day is the same despite maintaining a fairly rigorous routine which keeps things interesting for me. Poor James would like a bit more consistency and steadiness I think!

Our kindy business application is progressing through NAB bank and all going well, a move to Rockhampton in July is looking likely...we're excited about the prospect of having our own family business and becoming more financially secure. That being said we love the climate and culture in Melbourne and I will be very sad to leave some great friends behind.

Times of change and challenge ahead!

Love Nic x

Time flies

For some reason at this time of year, time seems to speed up, days become more crammed with tasks and energy wanes...holiday season is almost upon us!

Our days have been no less hectic - it seems you are thrust out into the world of social activities when you decide to have children these days...playgroup, swimming lessons, extra curricular activities, kindergarten, play dates, shopping, parks, indoor play centres...

Jude is turning 3 (we had a fantastic time celebrating his birthday in Brisbane a few weeks ago) in two weeks and the testosterone levels are surging - we have been going through a more complex and sophisticated phase of challenge at the same time that his emotional development isn't quite keeping up. The result? Me tired, Jude tantrums! That being said, he is such a lovely, affectionate, responsible, keenly empathetic, acutely aware, grown up and slightly OCD little man. He remains faithful to cars and trains but uses his sponge absorbing ability to increasingly enjoy role play. I've recently learned how intently he observes my behaviour - answers his toy phone 'Hello Nicola speaking' as one example. There is no longer one rule for mummy and one rule for Jude - we are bound by the same or I have many explanations owing. And everything needs to happen now or at the very least 'soon mummy, soon, soon!' I love the fact that as soon as he wakes in the morning he is ready to go go go (just like me) and that he doesn't really stop during his day. If his legs are not running his lips usually are. ;-)

His ability to take and accept (at times) instruction means his swimming and kindergarten experiences in particular are more enhanced. When I think about the school years approaching I worry about him...he is such a perfectionist, a worrier (yes like me) and gets so frustrated. He puts a great deal of pressure and expectation on himself so one of the best things James and I can offer to him is some perspective. And a listening ear.

Ivy has an affectionate, social, rebellious and passionate nature. She knows her mind and what she wants, she easily reads others and is aware of how to get a reaction out of them if the desire takes her...all I can say is that Jude cops it quite a bit! One minute they are kissing and hugging, the next they are screaming at each other....there are few passive interchanges.

Ivy is helpful, thoughtful and her love of life throws caution to the wind. Her favourite activities are role play, art and outside messy play. She takes time to warm up in the mornings (like James) but once she's had her cuddles, she's heading to her dressing table, adorning herself with jewels and searching out her first opportunity to get messy...a great balance of femininity and tom boy.

As Christmas approaches, we are getting excited about the arrival of Mum and Grumpy Pete...and not long after, Pip! I'm now at week 27 and thanks to yoga, still very active with few aches and pains. Jude asks about the baby often 'is it coming out yet mummy? No? Why what's it got to do?' - I explain that he/she has to get bigger but will be here 'soon.' I try to take a midday nap whenever possible to make up for interrupted sleep at night and to maintain patience levels through testing times with the children...that's another thing about having offspring - they expose your strengths and weaknesses!

It seems fitting that after just celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary, James and I are considering a new joint business venture. We are weighing up the disadvantages of change and financial risk and uncertainty with a healthier work life balance and potential financial security and advancement. There is a possibility that working and living together could result in driving each other crazy but I think once we've ironed out the creases and planned our roles based on strengths, we will grow and continue to make a great team. Watch this space!

Anyway I sign off by congratulating my brother and his girlfriend Michelle and welcoming their new son to the world. Exciting times now and ahead.

Love to you all,

Nic xx

Welcoming Spring!

Hi.

We are very happy to be welcoming Spring and some warmer, sunnier weather here in Melbourne. It's been a stormy, wet and overcast Winter but we've made the most of our hats, coats and scarves and braved the elements in various parks and beaches.

Jude is really enjoying his 5 hours of kindy a week now. He's excited to go but has a big smile, 360 degree turn and a kiss ready for me when I return. The carers there LOVE him and there is a chorus of "Goodbye Jude" from the other 20 children and adults as he leaves. Very cute.

He remains pedantic, neat (he gets upset if even the smallest amount of food drops on his clothes or seat!), organised, structured, bossy, chatty (he has no problem saying any word irrespective of how long or complex it is), affectionate, empathetic, fiercely independent (when it suits) and inquisitive. He loves role play and is often having conversations with himself or Ivy with a particular scenario in mind. He really enjoys music (listening to and trying to play) and dancing. And he is gaining confidence in the water with every swimming lesson. Eating vegetables usually involves some bribery but on the whole he is pretty good with his food and if he gets a treat he makes it last a long time in case it's his last for a while. I'm such a mean mum!

Ivy is messy, disorganised (she can be precise in selecting something or putting something on but then usually throws it in any direction shortly after!), cheeky, independent and social. She loves running around with Jude but equally ignores his bossy instructions and does her own thing much to his annoyance. She has started to show a particular penchant for painting and knows how to throw a tantrum when I limit what she can decorate. She enjoys most food so is easy to cater for - cheese is her favourite. She started walking properly a few weeks ago and is practically running now. I rarely see her without a pair of sunglasses on, a scarf around her neck or a different pair of shoes on her feet - accessories are her thing!

Thanks to mum babysitting and James being my taxi, I managed to complete my image consultancy studies and have started practicing. Work is slowly coming in (which I do at lunchtimes or evenings when the children are sleeping) and I hopefully have a corporate image presentation to deliver to 100 women at National Australia Bank in Melbourne soon which will hopefully bring in more clients. I am working hard to maintain momentum this year as I will have to put things on hold for a few months after Pip arrives next year. The pregnancy is going well so far and most of the time I am too busy to remember I am pregnant!

James is working hard too. A number of positions are vacant in his department at the moment so he is busily trying to fill those whilst maintaining the status quo. Hopefully once these are filled things will calm down a bit.

Weekends are spent planting vegetables in the garden, going to the park or train rides. Ivy loves playing in the mud and water and Jude never fails to fill me in on her antics - she's not going to get away with much while he's supervising!

We're now getting geared up for a week's break in Brisbane to chill out and catch up with friends and family - our first holiday of the year. Jude is very excited to be seeing Nanny, Poppy, Aunties, Uncles and cousins again and we are looking forward to seeing all of the children playing together while we enjoy a wine!

I hope you're all well - keep all of your news coming.

Love Nic x

Settled in

Hi.

Well, we have been in Melbourne for almost 3 months now and feeling very settled. The kids are enrolled in just about every preschool program in the local area - playhouse, playgroup, Playdays, private swimming lessons, etc. and we've become very familiar with the 6 parks within 4kms.

Celebrating James' bday last weekend was a positive reprieve from 3 weeks of everyone suffering a virus over Easter and Anzac Day long weekends...which turned into a sinus infection for me. :-( Probably the worst time to get serious about Jude's toilet training! Our almost non existent patience levels have seen many sights in the last few weeks...The highlights? Me walking into the bathroom to see Jude holding up his own stool in the bath, him hiding under his bed covers with no pants doing a number 2 on the sheets...and another time on his windowsill. Now we have him going to the toilet but sitting to do his business still fully clothed from the waist down. Progress! In the end the methods that are working for us are consistency, regularity (pardon the pun) and humour...it seems it is hard to hold things in when he is laughing!

After his second eye specialist appointment he is now wearing his Lego glasses full time - diagnosed with long sightedness, a 'turn' which alternates between eyes and a slight stigmatism. He is dealing with wearing them very well and only shows distress when other little children try and touch them or pull them off his face.

He is very strong willed so if you want him to do something you either have to fake indifference or make him think it was his idea...and if these tactics fail, I count to 3 and watch him run like the wind. He continues to follow extreme approaches e.g. he is either very sociable and in children's faces with a joker like smile, enthusiastic wave and jovial "hewwo!" or he is very antisocial exclaiming, "No little boy, No little girl" at children who dare to enter the same park as him. Similarly, he is either all over Ivy bringing her things and lovingly rubbing her head or shoving her and saying, "No Ivy. Stop! Don't touch my cars/trains!" He has a lot of energy and loves helping James mow, me fix things with tools, cook (he grabs his stool from his bedroom whenever I am in the kitchen so as not to miss any action), grocery shop (he gets his own little trolley) and clean.

He has an immense capacity for empathy and shows great concern if he sees anyone sad or hurt. He loves music and coyly sings along or nods his head to kids songs and tv shows...I fear it won't be long before James starts exposing him to Mister Mister and John Farnham ballads.

 

Ivy's personality is really becoming evident now. Unlike Jude, she holds no sense of danger. She climbs up and slides down furniture and loves to be spun around. She has a love of life and strangers regularly comment on her smile. She is cheeky and also very strong willed and has a short temper if she doesn't get what she wants...but her tantrums are fleeting and she is not as stubborn as Jude...yet.

 

 

 

She is known as my koala and loves sitting on my hip, pointing and babbling or just climbing into my lap and peacefully sucking on her fingers (two in the mouth, one tickling a nostril). She is not the best sleeper - frequent night wakings and a single short nap in the day but most of that is probably (hopefully!) down to teething and active development stages. And like her mum, she's a bit of a tomboy...it's not often I can get her into girly outfits - tights are pulled off, bows are yanked.

 

 

 

 

Irrespective, she remains James' "beautiful little angel" and Jude is his "gorgeous boy." They are our little 'mates' and enrich our every day.

 

Life has been busy with me taking on some communications project work in the evenings (I will start advertising the image consultancy side after my 3 day practical training in August). It requires discipline but I am enjoying the diversity in my days.

 

Work is demanding for James and there has been much change in the company recently resulting in him taking on more responsibility again. Challenging in the short term but he welcomes the experience and new opportunities.

 

As for living in Melbourne, it can be hard to live away from family and friends' support but on the upside, it makes us close and really appreciate each other.

 

 

Hope you all enjoyed the latest videos I put together. Keep in touch.

Nic x

Over 2 and nearly 1!

Hi,

I just checked the date of my last blog entry and it was 4 months ago - whoops! Still, I have posted videos in between now and then (and pictures for those of you on Facebook) so I don't feel quite so slack!

October and November were 8 weeks of one virus after another with the kids - all of which of course were generously passed onto me - needless to say not much sleep was had! But I looked upon that as the storm before the (hopeful) calm when dad arrived in December. And what a lovely month December was. We took Dad to parks, on a ferry and train ride through the city, the zoo, to child friendly cafes (at 6.30am!) the local shopping haunts, the beach, Noosa for Christmas, Southbank water park, Mount Cootha and even a children's disco. He also went out with James and I on New Years eve to Portside for Japanese cuisine and the 9pm river fireworks - James had a blast introducing him to pickled ginger and sake. But overall most of Dad's time was spent being soaked by Jude in the paddling pool at home. For those of you that weren't aware my Dad's mum passed away on our Xmas eve. Whilst I was very sad that dad and I weren't in the UK at the time, I was glad that dad had the kids as a distraction and the backdrop of Noosa to reflect on the positive memories.

 

We were all incredibly sad to say goodbye to him and Jude went into a quiet place for the rest of the day. No doubt trying to work out why Grampy was no longer there and adjusting to the change. The next day he was up and back to normal...verbal diarrhoea, ants in his pants and my permanent shadow. :-) His favourite question is repeated throughout the day, "What's that noise?" which is preparing me for the day when everything is "Why? Why? Why?"

I think he is either destined to be an Olympic swimmer or a plumber because he is OBSESSED with water. If he's not in the paddling pool he is in the bath, if not there he is washing up in the sink, or carrying a bucket of water somewhere, or in a swimming pool, or in the sea and if he's at the park you will find him running the water tap and splashing in puddles rather than on the swings or slide. And he talks a lot about "water going down the pipe and down the drain" - we love our strange little boy.

 

Ivy is another interesting character. She is either very quiet or very loud with little in between. When she gets babbling there is nothing stopping her. She isn't crawling yet but is getting closer each day and has done a couple of face plants into the floorboards or tiles as a result. :-( She does manage to travel along the floor slowly in her own swivelling way and can be seen tilting her head
(almost touching the ground) around the corner of a door to see what is happening in the next room. She doesn't like to be missing out on anything. She LOVES music, singing and dancing and hates being put into any restraint like the car seat or pram. If she could be in my arms 24/7 she would be extremely content. She has very strong legs and slams them on the ground when she's not happy and heel taps the floor when she is happy. If you throw a ball to her she will throw it back to you over and over. Definitely picked up James' sporty genes. She is cheeky and knows no fear. I love watching Jude and Ivy interact with each other. Jude has some loving and protective moments and some agitated times when she is nonchalantly encroaching in on his space.

Jude is so pedantic and precise in the way he goes about most things whereas Ivy is a whack it and see personality. He is cautious and nervous, she is fearless. But they both share a big sense of humour and there are lots of loud giggles and infectious laughter.

I get mixed reactions when I'm out and about by myself with the double stroller filled with the dynamic duo and daily paraphernalia - some doting smiles and some "geez you have your hands full" comments. Either way I smile and remain grateful for my two gifts.

 

I have been powering through my Image Consultancy course and finished my last assignment last night...just got to wait to be marked now. Wahoo! In the background I have also been creating my logo, setting up my business number and name, Say Something Back (which will cover my communications consulting work too), designing and publishing my website www.saysomethingback.com.au, posting on social media (daily looks, advice and fashion forecasting), designing business cards and writing my business blog. I'm realistic and know it will take some time to get my name out there and make some money but as most of you know, I am a driven and focused person and will give it a good shot.

In my spare time (!) I have been packing up the house for our move to Melbourne. We move out Friday 31st and are imposing on the in laws until we find a rental in Victoria. We're sad to be leaving a nice house, friends and family but we are embracing the change and looking forward to discovering new things together. James will continue to travel to Sydney or Melbourne every week until we all move.

Nanny Barbs has been popping in and out to help distract Jude while I get things boxed up. She makes me laugh - she naturally has a much more laid back parenting style to me - one time I came home to find a big poo from Ivy on the sofa which had fallen out of the nappy while Barbs changed her (she did wonder why she smelt but had no poo!) and another time I found a dirty nappy wedged into the top of the side gate which Barbs no doubt was planning on transferring to the outside bin but forgot. She has been helping Jude's hand eye coordination by suspending a ball with string on the back deck which he loves to hit with a tennis racket. "Good shot!" he says. Some of my favourite moments include watching him and James hit the ball to each other and their tandem mowing efforts.

Ivy has the 'd' and 'g' sounds down pat so most of her babbling sounds like "Dad' which of course James is thrilled about. The only time she makes a 'm' sound is when she's sobbing and needs comfort from mum - I guess I have to take what I can get!

Life is busy and sometimes draining - but mostly lots of fun. And as you can see I never have a camera too far away so I can capture the memories.

Til next time...

Love Nic x